Vicarious violence: what it is, its effects and how to defend yourself

Few things cause as much anguish as feeling that your children have become the instrument for continuing to hurt you. Threats to take them away from you, handovers turned into moments of tension, messages that reach you through the children. Knowing what vicarious violence is, what the law says today and what you can ask the court for is the first step towards protecting your children and yourself.

What vicarious violence is

The word vicarious means “acting in place of another”. In this type of violence, the abuser does not strike the woman directly: he directs the harm towards those she loves most, usually her children, knowing that this causes her greater pain.

Organic Law 8/2021 on the Comprehensive Protection of Children and Adolescents against Violence added a fourth paragraph to article 1 of Organic Law 1/2004 on Comprehensive Protection Measures against Gender Violence (Ley Orgánica 1/2004, LO 1/2004). Since 25 June 2021, gender violence “also includes violence inflicted on women’s relatives or close persons under the age of 18 with the aim of causing harm or damage to the women” by anyone who is or has been their partner.

Three elements define vicarious violence under the law currently in force:

• Who inflicts it: the woman’s husband, ex-husband, partner or ex-partner, whether or not they lived together.
• On whom: the woman’s relatives or close persons who are minors (children in common, her own children, other minors close to her).
• For what purpose: to cause the woman harm or suffering.

Common forms of vicarious violence

The most extreme form is the killing of the children. According to the statistical sheet of the Government Delegation against Gender Violence (Delegación del Gobierno contra la Violencia de Género, updated to 23 March 2026), 68 children have been killed as a result of gender violence in Spain since 2013, the year this official count began. But vicarious violence has many earlier manifestations that should be recognised in time:

• Threats such as “you’ll never see the children again” or “I’ll hurt them if you leave me”.
• Using contact visits to question the children about their mother, her new life or her address.
• Speaking badly of the mother in front of the children or systematically blaming her for the separation.
• Failing to keep to handover times, not returning the children on time or disappearing with them.
• Deliberately neglecting their health, diet or medication during their stays.
• Assaulting or threatening the children, family pets or other minors close to the woman.

What measures you can request today

Although the specific law has not yet been passed, the legal system already offers important tools to protect children:

Suspension of contact (art. 94 CC and art. 66 LO 1/2004)

Article 94 of the Civil Code (Código Civil) provides that no contact arrangements (régimen de visitas) will be granted, and any that exist will be suspended, in respect of a parent who is the subject of criminal proceedings for an attack on the life, physical integrity, freedom, moral integrity or sexual freedom of the other spouse or of the children, or where there are well-founded indications of domestic or gender violence. Only exceptionally may the judge set contact arrangements by means of a reasoned decision based on the best interests of the child. If the parent is in prison for those offences, contact is not possible under any circumstances.

Along the same lines, article 66 of LO 1/2004 requires the judge to suspend contact for a person under investigation for gender violence and, if the judge does not do so, to rule expressly on how contact will take place.

Exclusion of shared custody (art. 92.7 CC)

Joint custody is not granted when one of the parents is the subject of criminal proceedings of that kind or when the judge finds well-founded indications of domestic or gender violence. Cruelty to animals, or the threat of it, as a way of controlling the woman or the children is also taken into account.

Protection order with civil measures (art. 544 ter of the Criminal Procedure Act (Ley de Enjuiciamiento Criminal, LECrim))

When issuing a protection order (orden de protección) with criminal measures, if there are indications that the children have witnessed, suffered or lived with the violence, the judge will suspend contact unless, at the request of a party, the judge decides otherwise by means of a reasoned decision. The civil measures (custody, use of the family home, maintenance) last 30 days; if you file the family law claim within that period, they remain in place for a further 30 days until the civil court ratifies or modifies them.

Rejection of so-called “parental alienation syndrome”

Article 11.3 of LO 8/2021 requires the public authorities to prevent approaches without scientific backing that presume adult manipulation, such as so-called parental alienation syndrome, from being taken into consideration. If it is raised in your proceedings, your defence can object on the basis of this provision.

The Organic Law Bill on vicarious violence: what it proposes

On 14 July 2026, the Council of Ministers approved the Organic Law Bill on measures concerning vicarious violence (Proyecto de Ley Orgánica de medidas en materia de violencia vicaria), published in the Official Gazette of the Spanish Parliament (Boletín Oficial de las Cortes Generales, Congress, series A, 121/000106) on 27 July 2026. On 30 September 2026, the full Congress rejected the amendment to the whole text tabled by Vox, so the bill continues its passage through Parliament: partial amendments, committee work, a vote in Congress and consideration by the Senate.

It is a bill, not a law in force. Its content may change during its passage. According to information published by the Ministry of Equality, the text approved by the Government proposes, among other measures:

• A specific definition of vicarious violence as a form of gender violence, widening the range of possible instrumental victims (children and descendants, minors or persons with disabilities under the woman’s guardianship or care, and also the woman’s parents, siblings or new partner).
• Treating vicarious violence as an aggravating circumstance in the Criminal Code and creating an accessory penalty prohibiting the publication or dissemination of content related to the offence.
• Loss of parental authority (patria potestad) after a final conviction for serious offences against the children.
• Strengthening the exclusion of shared custody and the safeguards in contact arrangements, as well as children’s right to be heard.
• Allowing the mother to apply to change the surnames of children who have died and preventing the person who killed them from receiving survivor’s benefits.
• Specific training for judges, prosecutors and other professionals, and separate statistics.

Until the law is published in the BOE (Spain’s Official State Gazette) and enters into force, these measures cannot be enforced in court. What you can rely on right now are the provisions in force explained above.

Current law compared with the bill

If you are the parent under investigation

Suspension of contact merely because criminal proceedings exist can mean months without seeing your children. You have the right to defend yourself: to ask the judge to assess the father-child relationship, to propose supervised contact at a family contact centre (punto de encuentro familiar), to submit reports and to appeal decisions you consider unjustified. If the complaint is false or being used instrumentally, a professional defence from the very first moment is decisive.

Frequently asked questions

Is vicarious violence already a criminal offence in Spain?

There is no separate offence called “vicarious violence”. The conduct is punished through the offences committed (injury, threats, habitual abuse, homicide) and, since 2021, LO 1/2004 expressly includes it within gender violence. The 2026 Bill proposes a specific aggravating circumstance, but it is still going through Parliament.

Can contact be suspended without a conviction?

Yes. Article 94 of the Civil Code prevents or suspends contact when the parent is the subject of criminal proceedings for violence against the other parent or the children, or when there are well-founded indications of domestic or gender violence. The judge can only maintain contact by means of a reasoned decision based on the best interests of the child.

What do I do if my ex-partner uses the children to threaten me?

Keep the messages and note down dates and witnesses. Those threats may constitute an offence and justify a protection order with civil measures, including the suspension of contact. Consult a specialised lawyer before the next handover if you fear for your children’s safety; in an emergency, call 112.

When will the vicarious violence law come into force?

There is no date. The bill passed the debate on the whole text in Congress on 30 September 2026 and is still going through Parliament. After the amendments and the vote in Congress it will go to the Senate. It will come into force when it is published in the BOE, on the date set by its own text.

If your children are at risk or you need to apply for contact to be suspended, we help you with the criminal and family proceedings in a coordinated way. You can see our page on child custody in gender violence cases, our page on protection and restraining orders or our page on modification of measures, and call us on 607 449 491 (24 hours). To understand the impact on children, also read how gender violence affects children.